mcr_lolita_doll

I'm sick. My head hurts and my bones hurt and I just want to sleep. But I can't. And I have stuff to do. I'm so stuck on money, yet I went shopping last night. I'm so stupid. Now I'm missing out on work cuz of being sick. UGH!
I hate boys. Stupid Matt. ARGH! I wanna talk to him so badly but I think hes ignoring me...

Good thing is, I should be off my meds in the next year, and I've lost 4.1kg in 3 weeks, its so good. I don't really wanna be a fatty when I go to IPC. But I will be. I always am a fatty.

Can't wait till wellygeddon. though I dont know what im gonna wear on the saturday, my cosplay failed miserably. I was thinking of making a lolita dress I saw in gosurori, since I can sew pretty quick, though, I have no overlocker. I'm tempted to go buy pinking shears, but nan already has some, I could just steal hers.... My Kazami cosplays looking pretty good, im quite proud of it for $30 ^^ But I still have to finish the front bottons and the brooch. That wont take long, I just have to get round to it. I'm worried about the shoes, but I think theyll look better on me and be more comfortable (and cheaper) if i just wear the pair I have, Since the heels are higher than hers, but only by a inch or two, It makes me look taller and makes my legs look better CX

I think im gonna go have a sleep, im so tired and sore
tata

My god I feel like crap.  And my room is a pigsty which I think I should attempt to deal with tomorrow, if I can be bothered. Still haven't spent my money which is amazing for me! But then, I can hardly walk far but there is such thing as online shopping. 

Haven't had much contact with Yuki recently..and Amber has just left HK for Tokyo again damn her!!!!

I really need to fix this dress! It's really annoying me!

Mum found the perfect school for Keegan, in England, but its $45,000NZD a year....even if her and dad went halves, they could never afford it, it's so sad watching Keegan grow up the way he is, I fear for what hes going to become. Sometimes I wish, that I could just take him away from all this and protect him from all the dangers in life, although, I know thats not possible.
On a happier note, mums getting me the new Kera!

On another sadder note, Hannah and Toni are going to Auckland...I was never invited of coarse, why would I be invited? I do my best to include them in everything I do, if only they returned the favour. I'm so sick of doing stuff for people and getting nothing in return. It sucks. I may as well give up.

I feel like shit. I am sick and all I want to do is go back to school and get on with my work. My rooms a mess again and I have no will power to clean it up. I cracked my teapot which is soo depressing since I think its so cute.

I have 4 weeks until I need to be ready for Armageddon and I still haven't gotten my socks or parasol yet, i must get onto that.

I'm not going to the ball, I cannot afford it, sadly, I really wanted to go and see Erikos yukata, but, I also wouldnt want to go alone,and since I will never be able to go with the one I long to go with so badly..... 

This week I refuse to let myself buy ANYTHING! I need every last cent I can get my hands on and the only things I can buy over the next few weeks are my tickets, socks and parasol. Though i'm gonna be short on money at Arma but I suppose I can take $150 or so outta my Japan fund.

I'm worried for my mum. She doesn't get paid all too much and is struggling to look after the kids and work on her own. I feel so guilty for leaving, its not my problem, i know, many of many of people have told me that but I still feel guilty. I shouldn't have done that even if I did gain something so dear to me, It would have been better for her and the kids if I stayed. I have no idea on what I should do since its too damn tempting to leave this place and go off to England.